The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
