I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
