I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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