After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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