I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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