I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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