I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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