Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
