You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
