that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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