I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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