Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
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I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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