She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
