He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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