i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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