Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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