I bet he comes in French.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
