I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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