is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
