and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
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How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
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Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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