Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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