I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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