fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
