bring money and cleavage
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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