i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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