Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize