Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
