That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
