Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yes give me all the cream and he's gone

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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(281): View more from Texas

Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.

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(406): View more from Montana

There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk

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