He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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