Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.