1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy