I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas