so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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