And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
