sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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