I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
