She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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