brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's always time for handjobs
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
