I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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