so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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