Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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