did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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