to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
