Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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