just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
