So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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