You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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