sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
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And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.