I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night