Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you need to get laid

  (906): View more from Michigan

  me?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months

  (906): View more from Michigan

  oh I thought you were talkin about me

  (906): View more from Michigan

  wait

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  (616): dude you need to get laid (906): me? (616): no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months (906): oh I thought you were talkin about me (906): wait http://tfl.nu/self
  Replies (10) Good night (1397) Bad night (2135)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

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  (915): i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure http://tfl.nu/p6xi
  Replies (22) Good night (3668) Bad night (1705)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway

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  (224): The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway http://tfl.nu/3kio
  Replies (3) Good night (935) Bad night (3464)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  guys are only as good as the porn they watch

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  (919): guys are only as good as the porn they watch http://tfl.nu/x0jq
  Replies (71) Good night (4138) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours

  (816): View more from Missouri

  outstanding.

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  (816): and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like. (1-816): Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours (816): outstanding. http://tfl.nu/qtfw
  Replies (15) Good night (4543) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes

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  (805): My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes http://tfl.nu/ouc0
  Replies (12) Good night (4925) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.

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  (514): His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn. http://tfl.nu/voym
  Replies (44) Good night (10548) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7434) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

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  (252): I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them. http://tfl.nu/kwke
  Replies (12) Good night (5310) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.

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  (972): I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night. http://tfl.nu/hauh
  Replies (8) Good night (2340) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.

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  (250): SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU. http://tfl.nu/crab
  Replies (12) Good night (2869) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.

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  (704): The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here. http://tfl.nu/9670
  Replies (2) Good night (1546) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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  (240): it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick http://tfl.nu/lcrn
  Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.

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  (416): I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses. http://tfl.nu/2j5j
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.

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  (562): I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch. http://tfl.nu/mth4
  Replies (2) Good night (1303) Bad night (381)

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