Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings

  (718): View more from New York

  He can't hurt my feelings

  (718): View more from New York

  I don't have feelings.

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  (212): he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings (718): He can't hurt my feelings (718): I don't have feelings. http://tfl.nu/gr1o
  Replies (4) Good night (2138) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....

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  (703): There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it.... http://tfl.nu/mny7
  Replies (14) Good night (729) Bad night (2118)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

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  (443): Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit. http://tfl.nu/7z3f
  Replies (20) Good night (3641) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.

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  (215): There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am. http://tfl.nu/7bo4
  Replies (5) Good night (3181) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

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  (816): They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives http://tfl.nu/kcvk
  Replies (13) Good night (4700) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."

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  (615): I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do." http://tfl.nu/0gsj
  Replies (8) Good night (3633) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.

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  (215): Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late. http://tfl.nu/c0zj
  Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.

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  (520): Go for gold. Two birds with one vag. http://tfl.nu/1s6j
  Replies (4) Good night (496) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.

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  (405): In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day. (405): I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me. http://tfl.nu/iy6i
  Replies (4) Good night (835) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN

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  (574): LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN http://tfl.nu/j386
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.

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  (416): Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/edw4
  Replies (10) Good night (438) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (067): View more from

  I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you

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  (067): I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you http://tfl.nu/7n00
  Replies (2) Good night (359) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?

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  (330): Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night? http://tfl.nu/irts
  Replies (0) Good night (590) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Worth it.

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  (863): The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history. (352): Worth it. http://tfl.nu/vmzs
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.

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  (609): I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me. http://tfl.nu/juje
  Replies (3) Good night (403) Bad night (168)

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