Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food

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(207): watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food http://tfl.nu/6rf4

Replies (32) Good night (1046) Bad night (2105)
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(876): View more from Jamaica

you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom

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(876): you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom http://tfl.nu/vb0z

Replies (8) Good night (1452) Bad night (5236)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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(717): I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better. http://tfl.nu/z41g

Replies (13) Good night (4615) Bad night (957)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever

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(919): I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever http://tfl.nu/iy56

Replies (51) Good night (11126) Bad night (1378)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?

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(336): Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep? http://tfl.nu/earn

Replies (9) Good night (3656) Bad night (1384)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though

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(704): I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though http://tfl.nu/2ftm

Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (1230)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.

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(712): Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking. http://tfl.nu/ew1c

Replies (5) Good night (1427) Bad night (611)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.

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(541): Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from. http://tfl.nu/7wq8

Replies (3) Good night (1164) Bad night (609)
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(207): View more from Maine

Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.

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(207): Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills. http://tfl.nu/z8zj

Replies (6) Good night (914) Bad night (748)
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(541): View more from Oregon

One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.

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(541): One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse. http://tfl.nu/w6rf

Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (463)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

do you want to shower with me?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower

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(973): do you want to shower with me? (215): only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower http://tfl.nu/5xd8

Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (350)
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(519): View more from Ontario

University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."

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(519): University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue." http://tfl.nu/irh4

Replies (0) Good night (888) Bad night (345)
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(+61): View more from Australia

It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby

(1+61): View more from

Yah. Thai people are way too trusting

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(+61): It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby (1+61): Yah. Thai people are way too trusting http://tfl.nu/j4hl

Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (454)
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(214): View more from Texas

In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.

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(214): In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman. http://tfl.nu/e6dh

Replies (0) Good night (716) Bad night (320)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.

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(416): Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch. http://tfl.nu/1d55

Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (230)

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