We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.