after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
