At least make sure they are 18
Why
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
