You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
