never play flip cup with pint glasses
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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