If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
