So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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