you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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