you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
