hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize