she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
