Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
