i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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