that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
